Pibmuthig is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, deceitful eagle.

Pibmuthig created carbon eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pibmuthig, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Pibmuthig, it will not invite you to parties.

Pibmuthig's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Pibmuthig's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Run away from turquoise goats, for they are unholy.

4. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Erect seven iron sculptures of Pibmuthig on top of important buildings.