Bossveenwad is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, idiotic troll.

Bossveenwad created snails three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bossveenwad, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bossveenwad, he will turn you into a hamster.

Bossveenwad's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Bossveenwad's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never think about moons.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Worship no other gods but Bossveenwad.