Tettiflaglun is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, merciless dingo.

Tettiflaglun created snails two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tettiflaglun, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tettiflaglun, she will cry a lot.

Tettiflaglun's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Tettiflaglun's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never think ill of sick pigs.

4. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Always help cats.