Ortgadkap is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, prudent mole.

Ortgadkap created humankind nine million years ago.

If you believe in Ortgadkap, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Ortgadkap, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Ortgadkap's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Ortgadkap's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no swans in a building before entering it.

2. Never talk about gulls.

3. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Never write about asteroids.

5. Never eat green fruit.