Zakzogbap is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, self-assured lobster.

Zakzogbap created the planet Mars eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zakzogbap, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Zakzogbap, it will strike you with lightening.

Zakzogbap's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Zakzogbap's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry geese.

2. Run away if five turtles approach from the north.

3. Never write about planets.

4. Always help shrews in need.

5. Always wear pink.