Vabgebvin is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, omniscient cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Vabgebvin created a down quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Vabgebvin, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vabgebvin, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Vabgebvin's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Vabgebvin's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. You must love Vabgebvin.

3. Never mention cats.

4. Do not shave your back.

5. Never talk about dogs.