Yimzanhog is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, smart pig.

Yimzanhog created Asia three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yimzanhog, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Yimzanhog, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Yimzanhog's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Yimzanhog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never skip near snakes.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never eat green fruit.