Tarpvogtun is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, blissful deer.

Tarpvogtun created a quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarpvogtun, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tarpvogtun, it will think nothing of it.

Tarpvogtun's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Tarpvogtun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never write about moons.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never sing in holy places.