Zimbimloop is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, irritating aardvark.

Zimbimloop created tapeworms seven million years ago.

If you believe in Zimbimloop, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Zimbimloop, he will turn you into a slug.

Zimbimloop's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Zimbimloop's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never sing near hamsters.

3. Never paint your head blue.

4. Never mention whales.

5. Do not dye your hair turquoise.