Jenpopsit is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, deceitful raccoon.

Jenpopsit created the planet Earth eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jenpopsit, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Jenpopsit, it will turn you into a tree.

Jenpopsit's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Jenpopsit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear platinum on your body.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never pour water over plants.