Yarlyarpzag is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, irritating guinea pig.

Yarlyarpzag created energy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarlyarpzag, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Yarlyarpzag, he will turn you into a mouse.

Yarlyarpzag's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Yarlyarpzag's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt whales.

2. Put Yarlyarpzag first in all things.

3. Never think ill of sick swans.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not listen to music.