Cunbansatsas is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, charitable ant.

Cunbansatsas created an atom five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cunbansatsas, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Cunbansatsas, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Cunbansatsas' most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Cunbansatsas' Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands purple.

2. Never eat beans.

3. Always help sharks.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never pour water over plants.