Boncab is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, proud dugong.

Boncab created the universe three billion years ago.

If you believe in Boncab, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Boncab, he will turn you into a tree.

Boncab's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Boncab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about planets.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate hamsters.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Boncab.

4. Do not wear cyan clothing.

5. Always make sure there are no snakes in a building before entering it.