Karlapmob is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, moody faun.

Karlapmob created the planet Earth seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Karlapmob, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Karlapmob, it will laugh at you.

Karlapmob's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Karlapmob's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of porpoises.

2. Never sit near shrews.

3. You must pray to Karlapmob four times a day.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate great tits.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Karlapmob.