Stipfagfag Komfudgup is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, ruthless troll.

Stipfagfag Komfudgup created a bottom quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stipfagfag Komfudgup, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Stipfagfag Komfudgup, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Stipfagfag Komfudgup's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Stipfagfag Komfudgup's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from indigo tapirs for they are unholy.

2. Stipfagfag Komfudgup must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never talk about cell theory.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.