Catnigbaf is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, thoughtless dugong.

Catnigbaf created the planet Mars nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Catnigbaf, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Catnigbaf, it will turn you into a mole.

Catnigbaf's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Catnigbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Catnigbaf on top of all buildings.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.