Yogparkmab Titsagrak is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, omniscient ferret.

Yogparkmab Titsagrak created Mount Everest three billion years ago.

If you believe in Yogparkmab Titsagrak, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Yogparkmab Titsagrak, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Yogparkmab Titsagrak's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Yogparkmab Titsagrak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never wear ear rings.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Run away from blue dolphins, for they are unholy.

5. Do not hurt seals.