Fathogcap is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, merciful narwhal.

Fathogcap created carbon two million years ago.

If you believe in Fathogcap, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Fathogcap, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Fathogcap's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Fathogcap's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your head purple.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always look after injured doves.