Tonjapfubbatfagartfebwab is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, omniscient crab.

Tonjapfubbatfagartfebwab created dark energy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonjapfubbatfagartfebwab, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tonjapfubbatfagartfebwab, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Tonjapfubbatfagartfebwab's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Tonjapfubbatfagartfebwab's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured moths.

2. Never eat grapes.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate gulls.

5. Whales are unholy and should not be approached.