Wap is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, astonishing alligator.

Wap created the Cigar Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Wap, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Wap, it will turn you into a slug.

Wap's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Wap's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never write about black holes.

4. Retreat if six mites approach from the south.

5. Never bounce in the presence of eagles.