Quimhamfob is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, wise jaguar.

Quimhamfob created the universe two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimhamfob, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Quimhamfob, she will think nothing of it.

Quimhamfob's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Quimhamfob's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about galaxies.

2. Never hurt birds.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always help snakes in need.