Gesswabtal is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, confident shrew.

Gesswabtal created everything that exists eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gesswabtal, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Gesswabtal, it will torture you forever.

Gesswabtal's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Gesswabtal's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat peas.

2. Never feed corn to porpoises while wearing indigo dresses.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Run away if eight otters approach from the west.