Migbigquim Damyattjap is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, compassionate goose.

Migbigquim Damyattjap created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine million years ago.

If you believe in Migbigquim Damyattjap, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Migbigquim Damyattjap, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Migbigquim Damyattjap's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Migbigquim Damyattjap's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bananas.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never talk about amino acids.