Spagcatnull is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, bad-tempered crow.

Spagcatnull created a quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Spagcatnull, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Spagcatnull, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Spagcatnull's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Spagcatnull's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from cyan turtles for they are unholy.

2. Do not dye your hair magenta.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never hurt sheep.