Gesscethom is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, narcissistic crocodile.

Gesscethom created a quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gesscethom, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gesscethom, he will be very sad.

Gesscethom's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Gesscethom's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Gesscethom.

2. Always help manatees in need.

3. Never paint your neck violet.

4. Do not wear white clothing.

5. Never bounce in holy places.