Jarngonmot is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, compassionate wombat.

Jarngonmot created energy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Jarngonmot, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Jarngonmot, she will boil you in a big pot.

Jarngonmot's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Jarngonmot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jarngonmot.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Never paint your hands white.