Somcutmobgil is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, tiresome squirrel.

Somcutmobgil created a Higgs boson nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Somcutmobgil, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Somcutmobgil, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Somcutmobgil's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Somcutmobgil's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit near great tits.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Always help tortoises in need.