Gutbagrutt is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, calm monkey.

Gutbagrutt created the planet Earth six million years ago.

If you believe in Gutbagrutt, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Gutbagrutt, he will not care.

Gutbagrutt's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Gutbagrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from purple nematodes, for they are unholy.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always obey Gutbagrutt's priests.

4. Never hurt aardvarks.

5. Always treat badgers with great respect.