Watsantampodmapwee Ragnurtsid is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, astonishing wren.

Watsantampodmapwee Ragnurtsid created the planet Earth seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Watsantampodmapwee Ragnurtsid, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Watsantampodmapwee Ragnurtsid, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Watsantampodmapwee Ragnurtsid's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Watsantampodmapwee Ragnurtsid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never hurt swans.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Watsantampodmapwee Ragnurtsid.