Fotrillmad is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, humorless hippopotamus.

Fotrillmad created tapeworms eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fotrillmad, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Fotrillmad, he will destroy your home solar system.

Fotrillmad's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Fotrillmad's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never feed strawberries to goats while wearing green dresses.