Vinarpkin is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, conceited toad.

Vinarpkin created tapeworms nine million years ago.

If you believe in Vinarpkin, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Vinarpkin, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Vinarpkin's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Vinarpkin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Do not sing in public.

3. Do not wear mauve clothing.

4. Eagles are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never go into yellow rooms.