Wotlinwit is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, grumpy whale.

Wotlinwit created a Higgs boson six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wotlinwit, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Wotlinwit, she will turn you into a rat.

Wotlinwit's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Wotlinwit's Holy Commandments

1. Always help dolphins in need.

2. Horses are not to be trusted.

3. Do not speak about apples.

4. Erect a large copper sculpture of Wotlinwit on top of all buildings.

5. Run away if five hamsters approach from the north.