Yarjonbaf is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, confident butterfly.

Yarjonbaf created the universe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarjonbaf, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Yarjonbaf, it will come to you in dreams.

Yarjonbaf's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Yarjonbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about asteroids.

2. Run away from brown voles, for they are unholy.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Always wear mauve.

5. Always obey Yarjonbaf's priests.