Ladtikvogtam Genvinkem is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, temperamental human.

Ladtikvogtam Genvinkem created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Ladtikvogtam Genvinkem, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Ladtikvogtam Genvinkem, it will not invite you to parties.

Ladtikvogtam Genvinkem's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Ladtikvogtam Genvinkem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never bounce near dolphins.

3. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Worship no other gods but Ladtikvogtam Genvinkem.

5. Do not drink alcohol.