Gomgardav is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, strong guinea pig.

Gomgardav created a top quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gomgardav, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Gomgardav, she will not care.

Gomgardav's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Gomgardav's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Gomgardav.

3. Ducks are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Feed all hungry foxes.