Matstikwab is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, blissful wombat.

Matstikwab created gold nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Matstikwab, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Matstikwab, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Matstikwab's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Matstikwab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat coconuts.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Always help pigs in need.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never look in ponds.