Tagbemlakfon is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, loving chicken.

Tagbemlakfon created bats two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tagbemlakfon, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tagbemlakfon, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Tagbemlakfon's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Tagbemlakfon's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

5. Retreat if seven mice approach from the south.