Gonyikciss is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, confident owl.

Gonyikciss created the Virgo Supercluster two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gonyikciss, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gonyikciss, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Gonyikciss' most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Gonyikciss' Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gonyikciss.

4. Never wear mauve shorts.

5. Feed all hungry hamsters.