Hotmatzig Kimmifjop is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, astonishing meerkat.

Hotmatzig Kimmifjop created the Andromeda Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hotmatzig Kimmifjop, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Hotmatzig Kimmifjop, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Hotmatzig Kimmifjop's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Hotmatzig Kimmifjop's Holy Commandments

1. Hotmatzig Kimmifjop must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Geese are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Hotmatzig Kimmifjop loves sheep, so they must be honoured.