Sakmidfud is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, blissful cow.

Sakmidfud created the Whirlpool Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sakmidfud, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sakmidfud, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Sakmidfud's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Sakmidfud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Put Sakmidfud first in all things.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never talk about cell theory.

5. Never bounce in the presence of otters.