Vegvonkpib is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, conceited snail.

Vegvonkpib created a Higgs boson eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vegvonkpib, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Vegvonkpib, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Vegvonkpib's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Vegvonkpib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

2. Always make sure there are no mice in a building before entering it.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Put Vegvonkpib first in all things.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate frogs.