Zanfemvig is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, unselfish gerbil.

Zanfemvig created an electron nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zanfemvig, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Zanfemvig, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Zanfemvig's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Zanfemvig's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at galaxies.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never laugh in the presence of great tits.

5. Never mention snails.