Begstigcar is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, overgenerous beaver.

Begstigcar created time and space eight million years ago.

If you believe in Begstigcar, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Begstigcar, she will jump up and down on your head.

Begstigcar's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Begstigcar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt great tits.

2. Do not trade with those who eat figs.

3. Begstigcar loves birds, so they must be honoured.

4. Always help snakes in need.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.