Fumteenbinbotstrag is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, unjust gnu.

Fumteenbinbotstrag created Mount Everest nine million years ago.

If you believe in Fumteenbinbotstrag, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fumteenbinbotstrag, she will be very unhappy.

Fumteenbinbotstrag's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Fumteenbinbotstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a building before entering it.

2. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Fumteenbinbotstrag loves great tits, so they must be respected.

5. Fumteenbinbotstrag loves tortoises, so they must be honoured.