Vigmetyart is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, unfair squirrel.

Vigmetyart created a quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vigmetyart, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Vigmetyart, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Vigmetyart's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Vigmetyart's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. You must love Vigmetyart.

3. Never wear purple ear rings.

4. Worship no other gods but Vigmetyart.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.