Bepstafwee is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, fussy toad.

Bepstafwee created water four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bepstafwee, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bepstafwee, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Bepstafwee's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Bepstafwee's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never jump in the presence of dolphins.

3. Feed all hungry shrews.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a building before entering it.