Vonkkomjip is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, two-faced newt.

Vonkkomjip created an up quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkkomjip, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Vonkkomjip, he will not invite you to parties.

Vonkkomjip's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Vonkkomjip's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Always help sick mice.