Linrutort is a god.

She takes the form of a large, impressive porpoise.

Linrutort created viruses seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Linrutort, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Linrutort, she will destroy your home planet.

Linrutort's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Linrutort's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not wear magenta clothing.

5. Put Linrutort first in all things.