Nulwabquaf is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, weak hippopotamus.

Nulwabquaf created a top quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Nulwabquaf, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Nulwabquaf, it will turn you into a puffin.

Nulwabquaf's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Nulwabquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate mice.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.