Nartjadafrig is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, witty fairy.

Nartjadafrig created dark matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartjadafrig, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Nartjadafrig, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Nartjadafrig's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Nartjadafrig's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear indigo trousers.

2. Never think ill of sick pigs.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.